You know the phrase, "the end of the world as we know it?" That phrase has always been used jokingly by me, to imply that some weird alien destruction will fall over the land and cause an apocalypse that I would be totally unprepared for and useless in. I for some reason find that funny. In any case, I have never used it for smaller things, like a fabulous new piece of technology or the loss of a loved one. It didn't occur to me that a phrase used to be silly and extravagant could be used for more mundane things.
Until I moved fourteen hours away from home. Until seeing the faces of family members became a purposeful quest and not a normal accident. Until I had to move into a house to pay rent, utilities and the price of being the tidiest one there. (Has anybody else even swept? Is that not a thing people do?)
It is the end of the world as I know it. That means some changes are going to take place whether I like it or not.
First off, I got a new job. Imagine Cleo and Krayden both excited beyond reason, hopping up and down squealing for no reason, and generally just being an over-excited mish-mash of the various ways of being happy. That was me in the case of getting a new job with no connections or even a letter of rec, which my former boss kindly provided me with only after learning that I had been rehired. IT HADN'T EVEN BEEN A WEEK AAUUUUUGHFJADSKAGKHK;A
This is in the field of assisted living, which I've been doing for the past year. Now, though, I am working the night shift, from eleven pm to seven am. I usually wake up at seven. I've had to readjust my entire circadian rhythm in four days. This was done through sheer willpower and copious amounts of Doctor Who. I don't know if I actually enjoyed the entire seventh season and the fiftieth anniversary last night or if I was just so loopy grass growing would have been thrilling with the proper soundtrack.
I don't know when I'll be used to waking up when businesses are starting to close. It feels false, like it's the world that's off-cue and not me. I don't know when I'll start being able to draw without that sense of bad priorities or something. Look, its getting dark out, don't go to bed, you just had breakfast.
What all this means is, I don't know when I'm going to get back into the groove of things, and when I do, I don't know how school is going to affect that groove. I don't know how often I will draw or publish or walk around without it turning into a big outing. The different climate has thrown me off, being awake through the date change has thrown me off, and it is just plain WEIRD. Please bear with me while I muddle through the weirdness.